Batya: I just had an incredibly evil thought.
Liz: Again?

(GM Jam) Batya: What's an orgy? ...Has it got a roof?
Merav: Sometimes, dear.

Liz: You mean to tell me a gorgeous male horse is going after her instead of me?

Liz: I have total perfect control over my body, which you all envy.

Liz: (to GM) You're just bound and determined to keep me from getting into a serious relationship with anyone, aren't you? (To Merav the Male Mage) Hellooooo mage!

Batya: We gotta bench, guys.
Merav: We gotta couch.

(Gargoyles watching - Hunter's Moon)
Batya: "I just want to go on record as saying ... hellooooo nurse!"

(Heritage)
Liz: Hellooooo Pocahontas!

Batya: What does the "it" mean in "what time is it?"
[pause]
Liz: You mess with my mind, I mess with your face. Capice?

Merav: The last thing we need is more sheep jokes.
Batya: No, no, no, the last thing we need is total utter annihilation of everything! The second to last thing we need is more sheep jokes.

Laura: Aren't we all a bunch of lushes.

Merav: You mean Fox...and Elisa, and Xanatos...are going to become a - a -
Batya: *THWAP*
Merav: ...corporation?

=====
New Year's Eve on Constance's roof, 12/31/1997
Mad Libs, Storyteller, CDs, fireworks
In attendance: Batya, Miri, Michael, Gabriel, Constance, Liz, Laura

Constance: I'm blinded for life! Twice in one night!

Miriam: Don't throw smurfs at policemen.

Batya: Adjective?
Liz: Slimy!
Gabriel: Why did everyone just look at me?

Liz: Honestly, there was a camel with a French legionnaire's cap...

Liz: I took a Rorschach test a while ago.
Constance: Did you pass?

Batya: James Bond - agent double-0-sixty-nine.

Batya: "...he felt a cold wolverine in the small of his spaceship." I hate when that happens.

Liz: Everyone, I think this is a song that applies to all of us.
Laura: Rubber Ducky?

Constance: My ear is ringing. I guess I should answer it.

Unknown small boy watching fireworks: Do we go out and get drunk now, Mom?

(Toasts)
Batya: To freaking the mundanes!
Liz: To freaking the mundanes!
All: TO FREAKING THE MUNDANES!
Michael: To what?

(Storyteller)
Liz: You realize, of course, this entire conversation is taking place in the dark...
Constance: With the glowing eyes...
Batya: On the stairs...
Constance: Under the cottage...
Liz: Which is slowly burning down.

Batya: You have answered the riddle correctly. This frog will self-destruct in five seconds.

Michael: We're going nowhere! We're stuck on a freaking frog!

Constance: With my teddy bear and my sword I shall go off and smite evil!

Gabriel: I thought Jesus was a man?
Batya: It's whatever it wants to be.

=====
The Gathering 1997 (unfinished!)

101 ways not to kill yourself using household cleaning agents.

We were having this whole discussion about explosives. This may be why none of us dates.

They don't tell you these things! Not when you're an English major. Only when you're a chemist. It's like a secret club.

=====
Random times & places (prior to 1999)

Meredith, to Gabriel, after Batya sings "The Sleeping Scotsman": I take it back. You can be Owen.

Meredith: This is not a mystic vapor. This is just a Parliament.

Meredith: I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. Remind me to glue extra rhinestones to your egg.

Batya: My father was killed by a giant W.
David: ...With six fingers.
Merav: Dropped a piano on his head.

Constance: A chain of Murphy's Law mishaps that gradually accelerates into a supernatural threat.... Or men with machine guns, whichever you prefer.

Prof. Judith Summerfield: I personally think Jerry Springer is much better than public executions.

=====
1999

Meredith: I know, I've been spending far too much time yelling at hapless airline employees, but for heaven's sake why don't they get some hap?!
Batya: Hm. Where, exactly, would one go to acquire hap?
Meredith: Come to think of it, I don't know. They never seem to have any at the farmer's market. But I believe if you acquire some combination of spine, clue, and manners, it eventually follows you home.
--email, 02/02/1999

Damnation, the world still hasn't ended yet. I wanna see some Marauding Angels, and I wanna see them now!
--Ash, S8 chat room, 07/04/1999

The problem with writing a story like this - um, wait a second. When did this become a story?
--Constance, phone conversation, 07/19/1999

Jordan: I'm surrounded by clones. Normally this would scare me.
Merav: Just be glad our third clone isn't here . . . then you'd really be surrounded.
-- 3-way IM with Batya, 07/27/1999

It's only sort of a pen.
--Sarah Cole, phone conversation, 07/28/1999

=====
Shabbat at the Wittenbergs, 7/30-31/1999
In attendance: Batya, Alex, Merav, Liz

Merav: I wish her well. I wish her many wells.

Liz: Because it's a Con ... so many things to do, and see, and hear, and flirt with....

Liz: And so, after a night of passion and vitamins...

Liz: Never fuzz the head of a curly person.

Liz: Poor Liz with the achy bones. Well, technically, achy muscles. Well, actually technically, achy connective tissue between muscles....

Batya: I am accusing Alex of having shoulders!

Merav: I shut off the screen.
Batya: I shut it back on.

=====
Party at Laura's beach house, 08/01/1999
In attendance: Laura, Constance, Batya, Alex, Merav, Gedalia, Gabriel, Sarah

Batya: Aquatic creativity demons!

Batya: I am filled with trepidation and I like it.

Batya: Oh, look. A beached Philo.

Merav: They had a magical amulet -- (pronounced with long A)
Gabriel: An omelet?
Merav: Yes, a fried egg with a jewel set in it.

Laura: Speaking of sacred frying pans ...
Alex: Out of the sacred frying pan into the sacred fire.

Merav: I love the process of editing the snipe sheet.
Batya: Writing that down.

Gedalia: All the blood has flowed to my stomach.

Alex: But I digest.
Batya: ...Slowly, over the next thousand years.

Constance: It's the orb of silliness!

Constance: Polly wolly vu-ja day?

Merav: You realize now you'll have to filk yourself, which means you'll go blind.

Merav: Your nose is growing. It's not supposed to be doing that.

Batya: You mean someone's going to cancel our strip? ... Were we going to strip?

Variously: It's a hundred and eighty degrees in the shade, we've got popsicles, and we're filking.
Gabriel: Hit it.

Sarah: I don't know what's in my backpack, but I'm afraid it may want dinner.

Batya: What happens when you divide forty-two by pi?
Merav: Douglas Adams gets a headache?
Sarah: You get the secret of the smallest piece of cake in the universe.

Batya: There's three of us, we're big, we're strong, and we're in a bad mood.

Alex: Then there was the guy who wrote stream-of-consciousness poetry about trees ... James Joyce Kilmer. And the guy who wrote stream-of-consciousness ghost stories about trees....
Batya: Henry James Joyce Kilmer. And the guy who wrote short, cryptic stream-of-consciousness ghost stories about trees...
Merav: O. Henry James Joyce Kilmer!

=====

'Mom, Dad, he followed me home! Can I eat him?' 'No, Cthuki, not before dinner.' 'Awwww... When I'm a grown-up Elder God, I'll eat my worshippers whenever I want!'
--Batya, dinner conversation, 08/02/1999

Subtlety is for subtle people.
--Alex, 08/02/1999

So ... you'll put down your knife and I'll put down my bone and we'll try to eat dinner like civilized people?
--Miriam Normand over ribs at Dougie's, 08/03/1999

Milk. Lap. Forever.
--Sarah Cole in cat mode, 08/06/1999

That's only the ducks that size. They make bigger ducks.
--Batya, Shabbos lunch, 08/07/1999

It was pasta that I didn't understand.
--Miriam Normand, 08/13/1999

Oo! It came out today and I forgot! Bad Wingnut! Bad!
--Constance, 08/26/1999

Ward Melville High School. Ward, as in the thing you put up to protect yourself during a spell...
Yeah?
Melville, as in Herman...
Got it.
And High school.
As in Hellmouth.
Yes.
--Merav and Batya, phone conversation, 09/05/1999

=====
Kitchen Party at Merav's, 09/06/1999
In attendance: Merav, Shira, Batya, Alex, Kellie, Peter, Miri, Josh...

Shira: Right, like I ever wear shoes. [pause] Actually I am wearing shoes.

Merav: We have sucessfully freaked my sister.
Miri: Is this a good thing, a bad thing, or an indifferent thing?
Merav: Yes.

Miri: I've been effectively driving as if I were a vehicle since I was sixteen, on my bicycle.

Merav: Of course there's a room zero. It's a mathematical problem.

Peter: You're lucky I'm not drinking this. Otherwise I'd be snorting Coke.

Merav: No wasting away while Peter is choking.

Alex: Sphinx, the final frontier.

Merav and Josh: Do not put cockroaches in with the hermit crabs as a control group!

Alex: (watching the wedding video) The cow is out there.

Alex: We have a Josh on either side. This maintains galactic balance.

=====

Ow. I have missed you. Ow.
--Yechiel, phone conversation, 09/10/1999

Yeah, I know, plot plot plot plot plot plot plot. I hate plot plot plot plot plot plot plot.
--Constance, 09/15/1999

Fear my Amiga.
--Nancy (Del), 10/10/1999

I thought it was cream soda. It was Scotch.
--random guy, 10/10/1999

Clearly the god of the Yankees is stronger than the god of the Red Sox. Either that or the god of the Red Sox is cruel and likes to come up with new and fiendish ways for his followers to lose.
--Alex, 10/11/1999

Aren't all gods equal in the eyes of Man?
--Alex, 10/11/1999

Oy! Again with that thing of mislead!
--Batya, watching Angel, 10/13/1999

Miri: Eleanor Rigby never devoured anybody from the inside out.
Alex: We don't know that.
Batya: Yeah, I mean -- isn't there something about a face she keeps in a jar by the door? Demon activity if you ask me.
--phone conversation, 10/13/1999

I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I just use words like 'ilk'.
--Batya, 10/13/1999

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of Creativity Demons. Staking them is no good and they don't fear sunlight.
--Constance, in email, 10/13/1999

Where's your willing suspension of disbelief?
It's with the Mets right now.
--Batya and Alex, 10/18/1999

Let's all twitch together in unison. Gnk gnk gnk.
--Batya, watching BtVS, 10/19/1999

You're an oddity of nature. This is why I love you.
--Batya, 10/20/1999

I am going to make an excellent mother, if I ever manage to reproduce.
--Lauren, 10/27/1999

Does anyone know where I could get a brass monkey? And I mean a metallic simian, not a pile of cannon shot.
--Gaylord Tang, fey@cugc.org mailing list, 10/31/1999

Entrails aren't unholy. You make kishka out of entrails.
--Batya, 11/05/1999

May I possibly make a suggestion request thought concept idea thing?
--Miri, 11/08/1999

Well, he used to kind of respect her, in an ick ick ick kind of way.
--Constance, 11/17/1999

And all of a sudden the pickles are terribly sad.
--Constance, 11/22/1999

=====
Macy's Parade balloons and Dougie's, 11/24/1999
In attendance: Batya, Alex, Laura, Constance, Kellie, Peter

Constance: I don't like what they did to Wade's character.
Laura: In general, or the severed head part?
Batya & Alex in unison: Severed head?!
Laura: I just love these conversations.

Batya: They both have this large bald presence.

Constance: Laura, where are the comic books? ...Laura? ...Where's Laura?

Alex: And the sun orbits the galaxy, and the galaxy orbits the Local Group, and everything in turn orbits Donald Trump.

Batya: That's what college is. It's drunken conversations about philosophy, and philosophical conversations about drink.

Constance: The ice cream will become clear in time.

=====

When the Mob and Astronomy get together . . . The Horsehead Nebula winds up in somebody's bed.
--Jessie (Bruce), 11/27/1999

My problem is a rampant lack of apathy.
--Lauren, 11/28/1999

We all share the Cookie Monster anima.
--Merav, 11/28/1999

We have met the anime and they are us.
--Alex, 11/28/1999

Well, it isn't really November anymore, it being December.
--Alex, 12/01/1999

I'll keep that in mind, should I ever need to substitute a fish.
--Batya, 12/03/1999

I'm thirty-two years old. I should be having large amounts of sex right now.
--Lauren, 12/03/1999

=====
Chanukah party at Miri & Jodi's, 12/05/1999
In attendance: Miri, Jodi, Alex, Batya, Sarah, Sa, Merav, Jodi, Joel, et al

Sarah: Fire water bumper cars!

Batya: My strength is as the strength of ten because my hair is long.

Joel: I grew up in a Conservative shul with an Orthodox rabbi.
Sa: Most people grow up in houses.

Batya: If you get too rude, I put you on the snipe sheet.

Alex: Sort of like a supernatural Three's Company.

Batya: Poor Scotty.
Alex: ...A drink.

=====

History doesn't always repeat itself. Sometimes it screams, 'WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!' and lets fly with a club.
--Dave Weingart's .sig, December 1999

You are the aunt who keeps the universe in balance.
--Jordan, phone conversation, 12/09/1999

They were comparing macaroni and cheese.
To what?...
Comparing macaroni and cheese to the later works of Shakespeare.
--Sarah and Batya, phone conversation, 12/15/1999

Nobody becomes anything in a vacuum.
Except anaerobic bacteria.
--Alex and Batya, 12/25/1999

Worldbuilding is fun. You get to be omnipotent and no one gets hurt.
--Lauren, phone conversation, 12/27/1999

Judy: You're a genius.
Batya: That is my humble burden.
Judy: Dammit.
--phone conversation, 12/30/1999

Merav: I need plot points though. I have philosophical discussions 'til my charcters are blue in the face, but I need plot.
Jordan: Plot is important.
Merav: *nods*
Jordan: Where does one get a plot?
Merav: A cemetery?

Jordan: So you ate fish and loafed. Wait, that's Easter.

Jordan: The puns are flying fast and frumious.
Merav: *bandersnatches a hot buttered pun*

Batya: I still find it extremely weird that (on Angel) Doyle's first name was Alan. *twitch*
Merav: They could be related. I wonder if anyone in the band is half demon...
Batya: It could very well be. I'll ask Joss next chance I get. Right after I kill him. Or maybe before I kill him, after I worship at his feet for about twenty minutes. Okay, list of things to do if I ever meet Joss: worship, kill, ask about Doyle, not necessarily in that order.

Merav: Filker, sniper. Boy, we have vices.

--IM, 12/30/1999

=====
New Year's Weekend in KGH: 12/31/1999 - 01/01/2000
Shabbos, Saturday night party, GM Jam
In attendance: Alex, Batya, Lauren, Sa, Judy, Elan, Miri, Constance, Thembi, Kellie, Yael, Laura, Merav, Scott, Aaron, Eytan, Israel, Gedalia

Sa: What is that on? I want it.
Judy: What is she on? I want some!

Batya: Relax.
Alex: You're among friends.
Elan: Oh good.
Alex: Well, not necessarily your friends...

Lauren: Are we puzzle-ing at my house?
Batya: We're puzzling wherever we are.

Yael: This whole shabbos I'm becoming a lush.

Merav: Wait, wait, I'm counting virgins.

Merav: What did you do with your thwap?
Batya: What?
Merav: Didn't Josh make you a thwap?
Batya: Oh. I dismantled the thwap.
Merav: Oh well.

Merav: Jeff is an irregular orbiter.

Batya: I say goodbye now 'cause you go poof?
Judy & Elan: We go poof.
Batya: You go poof in unison.

Alex: You're not Mark Twain.

Gedalia: I haven't seen him [Israel] in years.
Merav: So go over and say hi.
Gedalia: Are you sure it's safe? He's wearing all black.
Merav: Don't worry, he's perfectly harmless.

Scott: That's what happens when you get married.
Batya: You stop sublimating.

Eytan: See, I would actually throw myself into the freezer unconscious. And I would do it for fun.

Batya: The wherewithal? It turns into a withal at the full moon.

Eytan: The most important thing I've learned in seventeen years is --
Batya: Never go back for your bag.

Kellie: (pointing to Constance wearing a bow on her shoulder) Are you a present?
Batya: (shaking Constance's hand) I'm glad to see you present.
Constance: Yes, I'm the present.
Batya: Nice to meet you. I'm the future.
Merav: That went right past me.

Yael: It's like this thing where you give me weapons and I use them on you.

Laura: We taunt the sea monsters by dangling him up and down.

Laura: Is there still something in the oven?
Aaron: There is no oven in the story.

Merav: The tree is throwing apples.
Laura: And it's an oak tree.

Merav: He's in a body cast.
Alex: But not a very bawdy cast.

Laura: I scratch between my horns and say, I don't know. People just call me horny person.

Someone: Gutter?
All: I don't even know 'er!

Scott: A supernatural power beats your Chevrolet any day.

Scott: The only moose in this forest is in my hair.

Eytan and Israel: Or-gy! Or-gy! Or-gy!

Scott: I've gone a thousand years without nuts, I'll go a thousand more.

Laura: Do you know what a Vegas is?
Batya: No.
Alex: In other words, you don't have the Vegas notion.

Scott: Am I still in my diabetic coma?

Batya: Wow, he's even more fun to kill than Seth.

Merav: Note to self. Don't dim the bally.

Israel: What would a kender be like on Ritalin?

Israel: If he dies, you'll pick on me next. I gotta keep him alive!

Aaron: Guys, you're not having an orgy. Drop it.

Alex: Dead squirrels tell no tales.
Scott: Dead squirrels have no tails.

Scott: Do you know the alphabet?
Alex: Not personally.

Yael: Is there any way to at least give her some sarcasm?

Gabriel: Those of you who have balls attached to your psyche...
(Batya goes into paroxysm of silent laughter)
Scott: I hear there's an operation for that.

(Scott spills wine)
Alex: Scott, I'm afraid you just can't hold your liquor.

Elan: When I grow up, I wanna be a vortex!

Elan: Yes, I know, we are militantly adorable.