Why I Haven't Got a Boat

CHORUS:
And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we would lose our balance
And fall into the ocean
Just me upon my pony off my boat

And if I only had a brain
I wouldn't need the wizard
And if I had some courage
I wouldn't need a brain
[all] And if I were a rich man
I'd have three sets of stairways
And I'd buy a pony and a boat
And we'd go out to sea

CHORUS

And if I had a bell
I'd ring it in the morning
And if I had a hammer
I'd hammer on my bell
And I would get a headache
And then I'd get a migraine
And then I'd throw you overboard
And you'd land in the sea

CHORUS

And if I had a rock
I'd wind a string around it
And if I had a piece of string
I'd wind it 'round my rock
And if I were a carpenter
I'd buy a prosthetic forehead
And wear it on my real head
On my boat out on the sea

CHORUS

And if I had the time
I'd keep it in a bottle
And had I world enough and time
I'd keep it in a jar
And if you give a mouse a cookie
He'd want some milk t' go with it
And if I had a million dollars
I would buy your love!

CHORUS

Why I Haven't Got a Boat is (c) Lady Mondegreen, music by Lyle Lovett