A Thousand Ships (Take Two)

And I started out this morning by outshining the sun
I won the golden apple and I've only just begun
I'll try to launch a thousand ships before this day is done
And tomorrow we will have the Trojan War....

When I wake up
Well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be stuck here behind the walls of Troy
And I know that
They are never gonna call
I know they'll never call him selfish lovesick boy

I was married
I was married to a man
Who thought that I was just a pretty golden toy
It would be nice (But he's not nice!)
Were he coming here to save me
But he's not -- he's only coming to destroy!

And they will launch five hundred ships
And they will launch five hundred more
They'll say I'm the face that launched a thousand
Ships to start their stupid war
Pretty Helen! (Pity Helen!) Pretty Helen! (Pity Helen!)
(Bum-badadum-badadum-badadum-badadum-ba-da)
Stupid Trojans! (Lousy Trojans!) Stupid Trojans! (Lousy Trojans!)
(Bum-badadum-badadum-badadum-badadum-ba-da)

Far below me
On the shore the battle rages
And the fire arrows pierce me to the core
Well Cassandra (Poor Cassandra!)
Said this was a bad idea
But nobody listens to her anymore

And the mirror
Doesn't tell me any lies
As the tears run down to wet my wrinkling lips
When he stole me (Stupid Paris!)
He forgot the moisturizer
To preserve the face that launched a thousand ships!

And they will launch five hundred ships
And they will launch five hundred more
They'll say I'm the face that launched a thousand
Ships to start their stupid war.
Agamemnon! (Agamemnon!) Agamemnon! (Agamemnon!)
(Bum-badadum-badadum-badadum-badadum-ba-da)
Poor Cassandra! (Damn Apollo!) Poor Cassandra! (Damn Apollo!)
(Bum-badadum-badadum-badadum-badadum-ba-da)

And they will launch five hundred ships
And they will launch five hundred more
They'll say I'm the face that launched a thousand
Ships to start their stupid war.

words: Merav Hoffman, Seanan McGuire, Batya "The Toon" Wittenberg
tune: Bill Steele, "A Thousand Songs"; The Proclaimers, "Five Hundred Miles"