The curse of my existence is the writers that I see
I can't do much for them not doing very much for me
I don't have much to say
For Friedman, M. or J.
Diane Carey, L.A. Graf,
And Shatner -- hah! don't make me laugh!
Chuck Dixon is too violent, Paul Dini is too cute
Chris Claremont is so stuffy I could see him in a suit
So I look down the racks
For that king of writer-hacks
Whose's somewhat prone to slight digression... Heh-heh...
But never failed to attract aggression...
When I grow up, I wanna be Peter David
I want to scribble a hundred scripts per year
Rewrite the universe
And maybe threaten worse
And if that doesn't work, I've got a plot
That'll need a new frontier!
Who needs to be a serious stuffy author?
Who wants to win a Hugo anyway?
The last thing that I need
Is to write stuff no one reads
I wanna grow up to be Peter David
And make low comedy pay!
When I grow up, I wanna be Peter David
I'll give Lwaxana Troi a crush on Q
I'll give Aquaman a hook
Without a second look
Heck, if they gave you creative control
What do you think you would do?
I wanna psychoanalyze Bruce Banner
I wanna leave the brainless Hulk behind
And when I run out of games,
I'll give aliens Hebrew names
I wanna grow up to be Peter David
And mess with everyone's mind!
When I grow up, I wanna be Peter David
I'll get free rein to write for JMS
I'll leave no pun unturned
And have a feud with Byrne
And maybe write for the Comic Buyer's Guide --
But I digress...
I'll have my daughter taken out for ice cream
As I am following flamewars on the 'net
I want that savoire-faire
And that vaudevillian flair
I wanna grow up to be Peter David
(No point in being better behaved)
I'll be the best Peter David knockoff yet!