Mornington Crescent
Tune: "Uffington Hill," Talis Kimberley

I rode the tube train out of Tottenham Hale
And aimed for Victoria Line
My moves were designed to cut through the Earl's Court
A gambit established and fine
It ought to be simple to get where I'm going,
As simple as riding a train...
But someone may call the diagonals soon,
And this game is never so plain

I ride the tube train down to Ravenscourt Park
And change there for Bromley-by-Bow
Trying to take Metropolitan north
And avoid any sweep from below
The Circle and Bakerloo lines are both closed
And force me to miss a few turns
The Quadrants are called, the diagonals opened,
And this game is tricky to learn

I ride the tube train down to Dagenham East
Till the Jubilee line is reversed
Seventeen tokens are lost in the switch
And my Quadrant comes off the worst
Then someone reverses both Northern and Circle
And somebody else calls All Change
The players all scramble to stay out of knid
And this game is getting quite strange

I ride the tube train bound for Mornington Crescent
Swift passing through Sudbury Hill
Leytonstone, Bayswater, Wimbledon Chase,
I daren't take a breath to be still...
The loop closes in around Knightsbridge again
As the bidding becomes more intense
And the Circle and Central lines both run express
And this game will never make sense
Will never make sense


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