Welcome to my pharmacy, we're opening today
Now I can't set a broken bone or drive the plague away
But sickness in the head is worse than fever and the chills,
So I recommend a daily dose of dried frog pills.
Chorus:
Sing,
Dried frog pills, the cure for all your ills,
Nothin' keeps you happy like the dried frog pills!
Now you, they say you're crazy, though you wouldn't hurt a fly
They take sharp things away from you, and never tell you why
If eating with a wooden spoon ain't your idea of thrills
Then at dinnertime just take a couple dried frog pills!
Chorus
Your boss he keeps you jumping and it's wearing out your nerves
And all your daily loyalty is more than he deserves
But quitting's not an option and you're not the type that kills
So take a heaping handful of the dried frog pills!
Chorus
Now you look fairly healthy, sir, but sorrowful and sad
Depression's never fun, but for a clown it's twice as bad
So if you're feeling mis'rable despite your jesting skills
Just grab a glass of water and some dried frog pills!
Chorus
Your town is going crazy, well it's crazy but it's true,
To stop yourself from going mad you're not sure what to do
So grab a jug of scumble, it's the best the town distills,
And it's great for washing down a bunch of dried frog pills!
Chorus
Well, thank you for your patronage, and have a pleasant day
But listen to my one advice before you go away
I'll offer you a discount on your next eleven bills
If you tell your friends about me and my dried frog pills!
Final Chorus:
Sing,
Dried frog pills, the cure for all your ills,
Nothin' keeps you happy like the dried frog pills!
Oh the dried frog pills, what a promise they fulfills...
They may sound a bit like Prozac but they're dried frog pills!