I been Fished and Heathered, tarred and feathered
I been C.J. Cherryh'd, Roddenberried
I been Asimoved and Heinleined till I'm blind
I been Clark Kented, went and rented
A time machine that you invented,
That's how I got back to...never mind.
I been Nightstalkered, Luke Skywalkered
I been Andre Nortoned, Robert Jordaned
Well, I spent several lifetimes chasin' dreams,
And I learned the facts from ol' Mad Max,
And Lazarus Long taught me this song,
And so I never, ever, cross the streams.
I knew a man, his brain was so dim,
He couldn't think of nothing but him.
He's not the same as us at all,
He doesn't grok FIAWOL.
He's so mundane that
When you say Spock,
He thinks you're talking about Benjamin Spock,
Whoever he was.
The man ain't got no future.
But it's all right, ma,
Everybody must phone home....
I been Moon Tided, Princess Brided,
Bilbo Baggins, won't you please come home?
I been golden dragoned, silver gryphoned,
Been Jerry Pournelled and Larry Nivened,
And I've just discovered somebody's had me cloned!
(Filk rock.)