Threes: The Jolly Butcher
(tune: Mercedes Lackey's "Threes". verses: trad. choruses: mine.)

Oh it was a jolly butcher roved in search of company
He went into a tavern and a fair girl he did see
He called for liquor of the best and made such fortune play
"Come have a drink, it'll make us think it is our wedding day."

Three things that are never new:
The same old sun that shines,
The same old lousy traffic,
And the same old pickup lines.

He callèd for a candle then to light their way to bed
And when he had her in the room, these words to her he said:
"A sovereign I will give to you, for to embrace your charms,"
And all that night that fair young maid lay in the butcher's arms.

Three words never trust in, that's:
The wills of men not dead,
The politician's platform,
And the vows men make in bed.

Well, early the next morning, just afore he went his way
He looked unto that fair young maid, and unto her did say:
"That sovereign that I gave to you, do not think me strange,
But that sovereign that I gave you, will you give me back me change?"

Three things that seem limitless:
The sky above us all,
The filks of "Banned From Argo,"
And the roving butcher's gall.

[Spoken: But she gets him back, of course...see, because....]

About a twelvemonth later, he rovèd out once more
And went into that tavern where he'd often been before
He wasn't in there very long when his fair girl he did see
And she brought forth a baby three months old and placed it on his knee.

Three fears of a single man:
That his technique is bad,
That his hairline is receding,
Or that he may be a dad.

Well when he saw the baby, he began to curse and swear
And he said unto that fair young maid: "Why did you bring him here?"
"Well, he's your own, kind sir," she said, "and do not think me strange,
But that sovereign that you gave me, well I gives you back your change!"

Three things that improve with time:
The wine both sweet and bold,
The master artist's paintings,
And revenge that's best served cold!

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